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Making Choices

Everyday. Except yesterday.

Did it pay off? Did the chocolate biscuits win?

So as per my last post where I said I was back on it. The scales on Saturday was another 2lb off which I was happy with. My head was in the game last week.

This week has started with a slightly different approach. I am going to do a different blog post on it but this weekend I took part in an annual event where approx 70 of us drove vintage tractors 20+ miles to raise money for the air ambulance. Last year we raised nearly £7000.00. It is a really important day to me. And depends on my health as to if I can do it every year.

However with it this year came a food choice that I needed to make. I knew I wasn’t going to be home from Saturday lunch time. I knew that Saturday evening the food would be out of my control and have syns in. I also knew that on Sunday it would be a very long tiring sore day with a bacon roll in the morning and bbq for lunch. I said to my SlimmingWorld group I knew it wouldn’t be SW friendly. I knew it wasn’t going to be practical to try and take something with me. So I made the choice to be off plan this weekend. I said I would do a couple of SP days(half speed foods (veg/most fruits) and half protein. Normal syns. Normal health extra A (calcium) and 2 Health Extra Bs (cereal, bread, fibre)to boost the remainder of the week. I made that decision and if it affects my scale results on Saturday. So be it.

Monday morning I let myself down. I stayed at my parents over the weekend and ended up staying Sunday night. Monday morning where I had originally said I would be back on plan… I got tempted with chocolate biscuits… I caved in. The chocolate biscuits won. But you all know it wasn’t just one chocolate biscuits. 😳It may have been tiredness levels but I wasn’t strong enough. I did however have and SP lunch and jacket potato for dinner. So not to bad.

So this week I am on it for the rest of the week and hopefully not damage the result too much by being weak and caving and being off plan.

Damnit. Chocolate Biscuits 1-0. You win this time…(and probably next time)

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Back on it and back on it strong

Well. I’ve been back on plan for a few weeks. I was really down over the amount that I’d put back on between my birthday, Christmas and then my operation. I put over a stone on. Taking my 2 stone weight loss to just under a stone. I was unhappy with how I looked and the bumps that were appearing under tops or the muffin top hanging over trousers. So, as soon as it was back in my control I was on it.

Initially I lost 3lb and then 3.5lb which I was really happy about. I had a 1lb gain and I wasn’t too happy but accepted it. I then made the decision to do a Couple of SP days the following week and hit 2.5lb. Back on it. However knowing I was back on it – and the reason for the SP days is because I self sabotaged at the start of the week by eating most of a bag of little bite size daim bars. They are just little bite size chocolate goodness that are so moreish I couldn’t stop at one. I knew I was back on it and I wanted to be back on it and shift the weight I’d put back on however I had a decision to make and I chose the one that really wouldn’t help my weight loss. I made up for it with a couple of SP days.

SP days are basically half protein (p) and half speed food (s) designed to boost weight loss You have your normal syns and HeA but you can have 2 HeBs. So it was do-able and I know that helped with the 2.5lb. So this week. I haven’t self sabotaged and have still tried to do a couple of SP days so let’s see what the scales say tomorrow. (Maybe my insane stress levels will have helped)

I had the power to make some choices and at Times I’ve not made very good ones. However at other times I have. We are all capable of making choices that we need to or should make. But we are also capable of making the wrong choices – like me and the daim bars. I shouldn’t have picked them up! Sometimes we self sabotage. Sometimes we don’t hold out strong.

Ask yourself: what is it you want more? You can make the good choice.

Gone off the rails

So, SlimmingWorld isn’t going so well I’ve had about 8weeks where I haven’t really been on plan due to operation. With a lot of the things I eat being out of my control as I’ve been unable to prep or cook for myself. But on the flip to that – all I’ve wanted to eat is crap and food that isn’t so good for me. The high syns. The chocolate. The crisps. The sweets. I’ve really battled my head with I want to loose weight vs I want the crap. It’s like 2 devils on my shoulder. The good one and the bad one. Each trying to persuade me their route is the route I need to take. Currently the devil is winning. I feel like I’ve spiralled out of control.

At my best I lost just over 2stone and I wanted to loose at least another one. Now I feel like I’ve put so much back on I need to re-loose what I tried so hard to loose before.

I went 4weeks after surgery and I’d only gained 1lb which I was surprised it wasn’t more. After a couple more weeks I went and had put 3lb on. I’m being put down as hospital at the moment due to lack of mobility and control – which I wander if that is contributing to the devil winning. I know that I haven’t got weigh in on Saturday. Combined with some I gained at crimbo.

Another element to the devil winning is feeling bad for my partner. Previously I would come home from work and cook the dinner and clean etc as he would put the PlayStation on. Now he is having to have the responsibility of feeding us. I feel bad for this especially days when he is tired – but it has given him an insight to what I do. So maybe – if he’s tired and suggests pizza or chip shop that is opposite our house – I feel bad then making him cook. So, it’s just another contributing factor to the devil winning.

It’s all a choice. It’s will power. And currently my choices are not where they should be. Do I care? Yes. Yes I actually do. I know I feel different and yucky and want to get back on plan. But sharp knives and balancing isn’t such a good mix. Within 3 weeks I should be off crutches back to normal. This cannot happen quick enough!! I need to get my will power back and make better choices

Crutches Vs Public Transport

So, I had an operation and had to spend a few weeks on crutches. Me being me – as soon as I could weight bear I went back to work. Many said I shouldn’t. Many would have made use of the 4 week sick note. Not me. Operation on Friday. Worked from home Monday. Anyway. My commute to work. Luckily my partner has driven to the station but it is train and then bus the other end. Being on crutches in an air boot has given me a very small insight to how we as the population treat the disabled. And please I am not saying for one minute this is the same but as I am technically considered disabled with other conditions I see this daily but invisible disabilities are impossible for the population to work around.

So the train comes in and I hop along to the closest door and join the queue. Typically my platform placement did not match where a door was. So, I hop along and join the queue. People are so keen to get on and get a seat that pushing in front of people is apparently very important because it seems all that matters is everyone just thinking about themselves. So I’m stood on crutches with middle aged men and women pushing in front of me until one eagle eyed man spots me and let’s me on ahead of him and he hold back others. I am very grateful and say thank you. So, almost invisible to most as the focus is get on get a seat. I am now on the train. Now let’s try to get a seat. Situated at the end of each carriage is disabled seats. Showing available – so they are not booked seats. I stand next to and say “excuse me please could I sit there”. In return I get a dirty look as the person huffs off to find another seat. So far my journey is going great. Trying to get off the train – I’ve had people literally try to push past me and get on the train whilst I am at the door trying to get off. I just don’t understand this. You can see me. You can see my crutches. You know I’m here as you are physically touching me to get past. Now to get a bus to get me to work. I get on pay for a ticket and as I walk to the disabled seats at the front and whilst I’m still walking to the seat the bus pulls of – I’m already very unstable, the floor is wet and slippery -This just tops it. That’s just getting to work! Repeat this every morning and evening to get to and from work.

It just shows priorities. Instead of using our eyes, looking around and looking out for people who may need additional help. The individual tunnel vision and need for seat is of more importance than looking around and even considering other people. If nothing else this has given me just a small insight as to how hard it must be for people with visible disabilities let alone those with invisible disabilities.

So, if your reading this. All I ask is that you open your eyes. Observe those around you and have some consideration for those more vulnerable people in our communities.

All of the syns…. but so worth it. 

So I’m not a fan of Christmas or my birthday – which is a week before. However. Pancake day… now you’re talking. It’s my favourite day and meal. I love them so much and have done since. Forever!! I’ve been known to do pancake week on the lead up to the day. Teeheee. But this year I thought would be different. I’m on SlimmingWorld and there high syns and even if there not – the toppings are. So last week at weigh in – I was kinda like whatever happens happens. I love pancakes 🥞! 
So I looked about to see how I could make them SlimmingWorld friendly. I could use oats using my HeB, eggs, amongst others. I didn’t fancy the oat ones. But I thought I would try the egg ones…. which is beat up eggs and some sweetener. Which. Let’s be honest here. Is just thin omelettes…. right? Wellll. Yea. Pretty much. But. Actually it was alright. So I made a few of them because except the topping they would be free and filling being that they are protein. Filling up on these a bit. I then went to make a normal batch because I couldn’t have pancake day without proper pancakes. 

Standard the first couple weren’t fab but they were so tassssty. I don’t regret a thing. Lemon curd. Lemon and sugar. Golden syrup. Couldn’t be arsed with Nutella. The faff of trying to spread it etc. So all of the syns happened. But I haven’t used all my syns anyday this week. 

On the other hand I’ve been pretty sick and haven’t eaten much atall. I’ve tried to cram in as speed food as I can in the meals I have eaten and I haven’t used all of my syns everyday either. The other thing being I haven’t done any body magic either as been poorly but have attempted the office today so I have done some today. Not loads but that’s ok. 

It is what it is. It was so worth all the syns. Let’s see what the damage is on Saturday! 

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